Quiz – 📚 Library 💑 Lovers 🌞 Day (Submit answers by Fri 21 Feb)

by Rob Penfold | Feb 17, 2025 | News

Happy Library Lovers Day for 2025. While health libraries are usually stuck with displays of “Hurst’s the heart” , this year something a little extra. A quiz, of sorts, from Health Libraries Australia.

Below are nine appalling arrogations of famous love poems or love songs. Simply identify the original poet or songwriter. Email your answers to Daniel.mcdonald@health.qld.gov.au (the appalling arrogater). You can have until COB Friday 21 Feb.

Respondents that get at least a few right will be put into a draw to win a hardcopy of the Lonely Planet book “Hidden Libraries: the world’s most unusual book depositories”

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1.

Shall I compare the library to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more air-conditioned.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And your loans can be renewed to a better date;

Sometime too hot the eye of misinformation shines,

And often searching is very complicated;

And full-text authentication sometimes declines,

By chance, or predatory publishers untrimm’d;

But thy eternal library shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of clean and clear information that fair thou ow’st;

Nor shall death brag with Palliative Medicine MeSH terms,

When in eternal lines a medline search grow’st.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

Love your hospital library, because your hospital library loves thee.

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2.

At last, my loan has been returned

My long-overdue days are over

And I’m back on the shelf

At last, I can be borrowed again

My heart was wrapped up in patient records

But now I’ve been returned

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3.

If I should stay

I would only be in Musk’s way

So I’ll go, but I know

I’ll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love MeSH

I will always love MeSH

Bittersweet memories

That is all I’m taking with me

So goodbye, please don’t cry

We both know AI is what you, you need

And I will always love MeSH

I will always love MeSH

And I hope DOGE treats you kind

And I hope you have all RFK Jnr dreamed of

And I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this, I wish you kept MeSH

And I will always love MeSH

I will always love MeSH

I will always love MeSH

I will always love MeSH

I will always love MeSH

I, I will always love MeSH

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4.

Now and then I think of when we were together

Like when you said you felt so happy signing the contract

Told myself that you were right for me

But felt so lonely in your company

But that was business, and it’s an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of resource

Like resignation to the end, always the end

So when we found out that we could not make expenses

Well, you said that we would still be friends

But I’ll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn’t have to cut my archive access

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don’t even need your package

But you treat me like a stranger, and that feels so rough

No, you didn’t have to stoop so low

Have your friends keep the backruns and then change the ISSN

I guess that I don’t need that, though

Now you’re just a vendor that I used to know

Now you’re just a vendor that I used to know

Now you’re just a vendor that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you upped your prices

But had me believing it was always my budget to increase

And I don’t wanna live that way

Reading into every multi-year deal that you offer

You said that you could let it go

And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on a client that you used to know

Now you’re just a vendor that I used to know

Now you’re just a vendor that I used to know

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5.

‘Tis better to have borrowed a library book and lost it, than never to have borrowed at all

Who are wise in love, love most, say least… which is excellent behaviour in the library

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6.

Like a fool I went and searched the catalogue

Now I’m wondering if the book is on the shelf

Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I’m yours

Then that time I went and requested an ILL

Now I’m back and not ashamed to cry

Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I’m yours

I’ve done a lot of foolish things

That I really didn’t mean, didn’t I?

Seen a lot of things in this old world

But ordering an ILL is such a help

Here I am baby

Signed, sealed, delivered, I’m yours

(You got my future in your pages)

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7.

It’s been seven hours and fifteen days

Since u took UpToDate away

I work every night and sleep all day

Since you took UpToDate away

I can search whatever I choose

I can get my information from an AI chatbot

But nothing

I said nothing can answer these clinical questions

‘Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to UpToDate

It’s been so lonely without you here

Like a tiktok without a song

Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling

Tell me baby where did my budget go

I could put my topic into every searchbox I see

But they’d only remind me of you

I went to the director and guess what he told me

Guess what he told me

He said girl point-of-care tools are all the same

No matter what you do

But he’s a fool

‘Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to UpToDate

All the junior doctors

In the ED

All struggled when you went away

I know that paying for you was sometimes hard

But I’m willing to give it another try

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to UpToDate

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to UpToDate

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to UpToDate

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8.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

Of your shelves, and when connecting to databases remotely

For the ends of being and ideal grace

I love thee for your 24/7 access

Most quiet need, by sun and flourescent-light.

I love thee for your open access, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as you fill all my doc-del requests.

I love thee with the passion put to use

For my search requests, and with my book purchase suggestions.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

When trying Chat GPT. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee when you restore my lost Endnote library.

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9.

They call me a systematic review

But my name is a scoping review

Why they call me it I do not know

For my name is a scoping review

From the first day I filled in PICO I knew scoping was the one

As I stared at the terms and smiled

For the question was opaque

And no meta-analysis was needed

When I knocked on the librarians door and entered the room

My trembling subsided in her sure advice

It was my first literature review, and with a careful hand

She taught me how pubmed works

They call me a systematic review

But my name is a scoping review

Why they call me it I do not know

For my name is a scoping review

On the second day I translated the search

To several more databases with only a little sorrow

I nodded my head, as I tapped at the laptop

She said “If I show you covidence will you follow?”

They call me a systematic review

But my name is a scoping review

Why they call me it I do not know

For my name is a scoping review

On the third day she took me to Endnote

She showed me how to de-duplicate

And the last thing I heard was a muttered word

As she stood editing the APA 7 template

On the last day I wrote up the PRISMA flow diagram

And submitted to a peer-reviewed journal

As I bid her goodbye, I said “All beauty must die”

And did not include the librarian as an author

They call me a systematic review

But my name is a scoping review

Why they call me it I do not know

For my name is a scoping review